Life with Borderline Personality Disorder

Annie was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) at the age of 25. She had been experiencing symptoms since childhood. “I was labelled as being very emotional and overdramatic as a child and I would have very hyper episodes. Then when I got into my teens, I started to experience bouts of anxiety and depression, then as I went into my early 20s, I started developing an eating disorder. It wasn’t until I made an attempt on my life that BPD was mentioned as a possible explanation,” she says.

Now 29 years old, Annie has tried out the many different treatment options available to her, “I did a lot of DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) work when I was first diagnosed up until about a year ago and I was prescribed Fluoxetine (an SSRI).”

Annie says the thing she think helped her the most was learning about the disorder and speaking to others who have been diagnosed, and although the therapy and medication helped out initially, Annie no longer feels the need for them.

Annie is one of the many people living with BPD. It’s estimated that around 1 in 100 people live with the disorder and it’s thought to affect men and women equally, however women are more likely to get diagnosed.

As conversations surrounding mental health have become more open in recent years, there are more people willing to speak up on the disorders that don’t receive as much coverage. Stigmas around things like anxiety and depression have noticeably decreased, however there are still a number of disorders that carry an outdated view around with them.

Personality disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and BPD still receive very little coverage and a lot of people are often unaware of what impact these disorders have on people.

The NHS defines BPD as a mood disorder that affects how a person interacts with others. Alexandra Schweigert, a health coach from Michigan, USA, described how many BPD sufferers are often referred to as burn victims, “People with BPD feel these emotions that are more intense than what the average day to day person feels. Many BPD sufferers are seen to lack that tougher, thicker skin similar to a burn victim.”

It's thought that the causes of BPD are often linked to a mix of social factors such as a traumatic childhood and genetic factors, such as a family member also having the disorder.

Alexandra says that most of her clients are between the ages of 18 and 22, and the most common symptoms she comes across are, “People that experience intolerable emotions for pro-longed periods of time, strong attachments and intense fear of abandonment. They are also likely to seek out numbing behaviours such as self-harming, binge drinking and eating disorders.”

For Marianne Gartside, she began noticing her symptoms start to appear around the age of 13, “I didn’t realise at first that my symptoms could be related to something like BPD.  For me, I notice that my symptoms get worse when I’m in a relationship, my emotions just become really overwhelming.”

Marianne, 22, was diagnosed in the summer of 2023, something she is still coming to terms with. “I used to cry multiple times a day and I had periods where I used to self-harm,” she says.

“When I was at my lowest point I was referred to the crisis team before starting Emotional First Aid therapy which is supposed to help you learn how to regulate your emotions. I was also prescribed Citalopram (an SSRI).” Although she didn’t find this kind of therapy useful for her, she has found the use of anti-depressants to be really helpful for managing her symptoms.

Diagnosing someone with BPD is often a complicated and long process as the symptoms are similar to anxiety and depression. This unknown territory often means that people with BPD will end up suffering with a number of different mental illnesses at the same time, which is reflected in the suicide statistics associated with the disorder. Research has shown about 75% of people with BPD will make at least one suicide attempt in their lifetime and it’s estimated between 3% to 10% of BPD will commit suicide, which is more than 50 times the rate of suicide in the general population.

Alexandra explains how there are a number of different treatment options available to those with BPD, “Group therapy can be really helpful and having a plan in place for when you experience those really intense periods of feeling can help. I think identifying your support system and finding medical providers you can trust is also really important.”

Since being diagnosed both Annie and Marianne have said how just being given a name for what they are going through has really helped them. Annie describes herself as being two different people before and after getting her diagnosis, “I cried with relief, to know that it wasn’t just me being emotional and dramatic, that there was actually a reason for me to be reacting the way I do in situations really helped.”

Although Marianne is still working through her diagnosis, she also felt a similar way when she was told she had BPD, “I was so relived, I’d spent so long wondering what was wrong with me and getting a diagnosis felt like an explanation for all the emotions I’d been feeling.”

As the conversation around mental health continues to become less taboo, it’s important to remember that a lot of disorders still carry around this negative stigma with them. It’s going to take more people like Annie and Marianne opening up and raising awareness of conditions, like BPD, that are still misunderstood. The more understanding people have about these things, the more likely people who may be feeling a similar way will go out and seek help.

If you suspect you may have BPD or you know someone who may need help then there are a number of things you can do such as speak to a GP, read up on the disorder or seek help from places such as BPD World, The Samaritans, Mind UK and The NHS.